i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize