I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize