Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
