Buhtt sex?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize