hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
