Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Randomize
