Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Randomize
