I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
