You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
