Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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