Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
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