He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
