we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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