Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
