i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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