One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
