I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
So many bounce houses so little time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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