Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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