We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
