I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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