the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
sex in a hospital.. check
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
