I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
