That's intense
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
