I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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