You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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