But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Randomize
