Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
