Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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