hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
