So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
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hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
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Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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