Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I want her autograph on my taint
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
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