I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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