you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
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