the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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