Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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