I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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