i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
