but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i would punch a child for taco bell
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
