so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
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He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
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It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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