Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
