Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Randomize
