Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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