just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
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That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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