How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.