I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
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Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
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Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry