That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.