So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize