period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
