Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
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We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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