How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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