oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
