dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Randomize