I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
