so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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