Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
We need a shit load of segways right now
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize
