just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
