Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
