Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
