I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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