Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
