Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
