Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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