Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
No...this little piggys going to the bar
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
