You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
