we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
