I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
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Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
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He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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