My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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